Wow. So, a lot has happened since I've last posted. I read East of Eden by John Steinbeck in April, Boundaries in May, and Where the Wild Things Are in June (thanks to the Rener family). Currently, I'm reading Here and Now by Henri Nouwen with my madre. We've had some really great discussions because of this book, and I'm grateful for it. Henri Nouwen has a beautiful and authentic heart, and he really desires to love God and others - you can just tell.
Steve is commercial salmon fishing in Alaska for more than a month. He returns July 18th, and I seriously can't wait! But, I have to wait, and God has been teaching me to rely on him and not Steve. Trust Him, and not other people and things. It hasn't been easy, but this long, long, long distance relationship is making me realize how much I really do neglect my relationship with Abba. Right now, Steve is the one I love but he is invisible. He is not here to hold me or kiss me or tell me face-to-face that he loves me. He sends me letters and occasionally, I hear from him via the phone. But the yearning I have for him is ridiculous, and I want to spend time writing letters to him, making him packages, and just thinking about him. I want this desire to translate into my relationship with Abba. I want to be so consumed with love for him that I'm consumed with his presence and expend my energy in loving him like I do for Steve. I'm learning a lot which learning and growing is always good, but it's usually never easy. So, I remain challenged; and I remain confident that Abba loves me without condition or any kind of reserve.
Well, that's all I have to say. Besides, I really feel blessed to have as many friends as I do and blessed by people who have shown me so much love. So thanks to all my friends and family in Tejas - you really know how to make a girl feel special.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Books, Books, Books
In a concious effort to start and finish books rather than to start a book, start another book, and another one, I decided to make a goal for myself. Not a New Year’s Resolution, those are too fickle or is it that I am too fickle? In order to avoid the failed resolutions, I decided a goal is much better, more realistic, easier to fulfill. My goal is to read a book a month, and so far, so good.
In January, I read “Finding My Way Home” by Henri Nouwen who I highly recommend to anyone who wants to enrich their spiritual journey and wants to be reminded of basic truths that are easy to overlook when running about in the rat race. He reminded me to keep my eyes open and heart open to the poor who live so closely. Their presence is sometimes so repetivitve where I live that generalizing them as substance abusers and mentally ill seems fitting and justifiable. Yet looking them in the eye, smiling, or taking the time to listen to whatever story they want to tell, takes much more. It takes a listener, one who doesn’t mind leaving a to-do unchecked, one who can be still in heart and mind. More often than not, I am not this person. “Finding My Way Home” reminded me that I am not home. I am on a journey and have a purpose which is to love my Father in Heaven and live because I am loved.
In February, I read “Run with the Horses” by Eugene Peterson. He is the guy who made us want to haul up to Canada and go to a school called Regent College because he just seems to GET God. Somehow, God is real when you read Eugene Peterson’s work. If you’ve read the Message version of the Bible, then you’ve read his work. He can take old language that doesn’t seem to make sense, and rewrite in language the everyday joe can understand. The book I read was about Jeremiah (the weeping prophet). The one who never got the respect he deserved, who men ridiculed and punished. If you struggle with man’s approval (aka people pleasing – by the way, I have no idea what it means to people please, ha ha), let Jeremiah be your inspiration. Seriously, this guy was one tough cookie yet he never crumbled. God kept him together, and he remained faithful to his purpose.
Today, I finished “Christ the Lord: Out of Eygpt” by Anne Rice. Anne Rice has written a ton of novels and mostly about vampires. She is adimt about historical research and getting details right for each time period her novels are set in. When she decided to write Christ the Lord: Out of Eygpt, she did what she always did. She researched…the history of the Jewish people, their customs and practices, their culture. She researched Jesus and the time he lived. In her research, she began to believe which was not what she set out to do. She took historical facts and wrote what Jesus would have been like as a seven-year-old. The New Testament told us about his birth, his ministry and his death, but all it said of his childhood is that he grew in wisdom and stature. She used her imagination as well as history and the character of Christ as her guide. This book was so valuable. It allowed me to see Jesus as a human. You know it’s hard to believe that at times. Like when he did not say a word to Pilate to escape death, and that he didn’t yell back at his mockers from the cross. The pain alone would have made me go off on the accusers! She opened the door to allow me to think of Jesus as a little boy and to know that his life is more than just a birth and a death, but that there was a valuable in-between that shaped who he was. It was in the “in-between” that he grew in wisdom and stature, and Anne Rice does a reverently gracious job in creating a portrait of Jesus as a child. You cannot read this book and not be touched by the beauty of Christ the Lord.
Obviously, I’ve been on a Christian kick with my reading so for April, I’m going to read the non-fiction book, “The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls” by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. I’ll let you know how it is.
In January, I read “Finding My Way Home” by Henri Nouwen who I highly recommend to anyone who wants to enrich their spiritual journey and wants to be reminded of basic truths that are easy to overlook when running about in the rat race. He reminded me to keep my eyes open and heart open to the poor who live so closely. Their presence is sometimes so repetivitve where I live that generalizing them as substance abusers and mentally ill seems fitting and justifiable. Yet looking them in the eye, smiling, or taking the time to listen to whatever story they want to tell, takes much more. It takes a listener, one who doesn’t mind leaving a to-do unchecked, one who can be still in heart and mind. More often than not, I am not this person. “Finding My Way Home” reminded me that I am not home. I am on a journey and have a purpose which is to love my Father in Heaven and live because I am loved.
In February, I read “Run with the Horses” by Eugene Peterson. He is the guy who made us want to haul up to Canada and go to a school called Regent College because he just seems to GET God. Somehow, God is real when you read Eugene Peterson’s work. If you’ve read the Message version of the Bible, then you’ve read his work. He can take old language that doesn’t seem to make sense, and rewrite in language the everyday joe can understand. The book I read was about Jeremiah (the weeping prophet). The one who never got the respect he deserved, who men ridiculed and punished. If you struggle with man’s approval (aka people pleasing – by the way, I have no idea what it means to people please, ha ha), let Jeremiah be your inspiration. Seriously, this guy was one tough cookie yet he never crumbled. God kept him together, and he remained faithful to his purpose.
Today, I finished “Christ the Lord: Out of Eygpt” by Anne Rice. Anne Rice has written a ton of novels and mostly about vampires. She is adimt about historical research and getting details right for each time period her novels are set in. When she decided to write Christ the Lord: Out of Eygpt, she did what she always did. She researched…the history of the Jewish people, their customs and practices, their culture. She researched Jesus and the time he lived. In her research, she began to believe which was not what she set out to do. She took historical facts and wrote what Jesus would have been like as a seven-year-old. The New Testament told us about his birth, his ministry and his death, but all it said of his childhood is that he grew in wisdom and stature. She used her imagination as well as history and the character of Christ as her guide. This book was so valuable. It allowed me to see Jesus as a human. You know it’s hard to believe that at times. Like when he did not say a word to Pilate to escape death, and that he didn’t yell back at his mockers from the cross. The pain alone would have made me go off on the accusers! She opened the door to allow me to think of Jesus as a little boy and to know that his life is more than just a birth and a death, but that there was a valuable in-between that shaped who he was. It was in the “in-between” that he grew in wisdom and stature, and Anne Rice does a reverently gracious job in creating a portrait of Jesus as a child. You cannot read this book and not be touched by the beauty of Christ the Lord.
Obviously, I’ve been on a Christian kick with my reading so for April, I’m going to read the non-fiction book, “The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls” by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. I’ll let you know how it is.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Dedicated to One of My Three Heroes
you cry about injustice
you hate taking the blame
you know you are innocent
but the oppressor still remains
he seeks you when you're living
he finds you when you're free
he chains you with fear
and whips you to your knees
and when i break, he's cheering
and when i doubt, he's near
he's fighting in a battle
going on right now, right here
though i may not see it
though i feel despair
i know there is a victor
holding me close and near
he's protecting me with presence
he's protecting me with love
he's taking the blame though he's innocent
and he's fighting in the push and shove
he's defending my honor
he's calling my name
he's loving me with all he has
and he's taking my blame
i don't deserve you, jesus
you gave me all you have
while i live for myself
you live and die for dad
you bring abba glory
you bring abba love
you bring in his presence
when i feel unloved
you are my one and only
i'm free in you
you are my one and only
i live in you
you hate taking the blame
you know you are innocent
but the oppressor still remains
he seeks you when you're living
he finds you when you're free
he chains you with fear
and whips you to your knees
and when i break, he's cheering
and when i doubt, he's near
he's fighting in a battle
going on right now, right here
though i may not see it
though i feel despair
i know there is a victor
holding me close and near
he's protecting me with presence
he's protecting me with love
he's taking the blame though he's innocent
and he's fighting in the push and shove
he's defending my honor
he's calling my name
he's loving me with all he has
and he's taking my blame
i don't deserve you, jesus
you gave me all you have
while i live for myself
you live and die for dad
you bring abba glory
you bring abba love
you bring in his presence
when i feel unloved
you are my one and only
i'm free in you
you are my one and only
i live in you
Monday, January 19, 2009
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